Finicky Feline Appreciator Pillows

'Yes, I do believe in the finicky gene.'

Flowers? My girl prefers a dead mouse!

"I guess people want dogs with no problems. Lucky for me, all I've got is quirks."

The universe that has me at the center of it is my kind of universe!

"Hi, I'm Miranda: I like sniffing bums, rolling about in dead things and chasing tennis balls. . ."

Art Pets

'Trust me, if you get them as kittens, you learn to love them...'

Net Zero Superstitions

'Ah look, what a lovely tortoise shell cat.'

Cat eyes up cocktail olive.

"Allow Me"

"Shake hands, Mitten! Rexy here does it! Come on! So can you!"

Puppy school vs. kitten school

"Holy smokes, he's undefeatable!"

Cat strenuously denies hat poo under the bed is anything to do with him...

Cats and boxes...BOXES!

Novox Genlab: 'I don't know if we should call the world press or keep quiet?'

"I don't think he's wearing that snorkel because he wants to swim with us. Especially, since it's lunch time."

'I think I'll give her that enigmatic look that convinces her I have some higher mysterious power.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Benjamin Franklin Kite Flying

"Meowzers!"

"It's curiosity and your HMO won't cover it."

"Good evening, Mr. Bisley - do you remember years ago, the lion-cub you sponsored...?"

"Does the fool not realise who I am...?? I am GORDO - Destroyer of Worlds and I shall rip his soul apart...Hmmm...actually, that ball of wool looks like it needs punishing..."

"Hello, Kitty!"

"Is it any wonder you got coal in your stocking?"

"Wow! With this new device, now I can finally hear what you're thinking!"

'I think it's marvellous the way they know which cupboard their food is in!'

'Orange cats are responsible for 90% of all crime, while the grey cats are destroying our economy... And don't get me started on the calicoes - they are just sober orange cats who can't drive.'

Cat and Owner Ignore Each Other.

'I must be losing it. I forgot to try to trip someone walking down the stairs today.'

"Cute cat videos, again! But I'm right here!"

"I wear my elitism lightly."

'He's so bright he scares me!'

How to be super annoying and cute