Fine Wine Fan Gifts

'The first rule of enjoying fine wine is to make sure you and the wine are in the same room.'

"I picked this one up in France while my wife had her hip replaced."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'A cheeky red?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

Sauvignon Bonk

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Bacchus.

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"I’ve settled comfortably into middle-age while Barry has settled comfortably into Middle Earth."

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

"I think it stopped breathing."

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

"He gets easily abstracted."