Financially Flustered Pillows

Introducing the 1040 - F.I.* Form (*The tax return for the financially incompetent.)

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

Peter

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

Wanna talk about it?

"Pendleton will stay afloat no matter what!"

'No trouble at all giving you an overdraft Mr Simkins - have mine!'

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

'I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you're going to get to relive the thrill of building your company up from nothing!'

"Your assets will be frozen? Oh, boy, is it going to snow?"

"Even after all that's happened, I feel no less regal."

'We may be bankrupt, but we're not broke.'

Easy Budget Terms Are Not That Easy.

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."

'I am a staving artist. I'm fat because all I can afford is junk food!'

"I'm sorry, Ma, but we're forced to sell the art collection."

Remember you predicted some 'difficulties' with my bank?

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

'Your 401 (K) went down the drain, but if it's any consolation, you can keep the commemorative cup.'

"Your money is no longer working for you. It got laid off."

No Money

'Remember you asked me to turn around the business!'

"Unfortunately, my holding on to tech-stocks was faith-based."

'Read an investment book that changed my life...please help.'

"Remember, son, what doesn't kill you, makes you poorer."

'I'm so bad with money, I never know how much I have in the bank unless I shake it and count what falls out.'

'Hi Luv. . .I'm at the Grand national, you never really liked our house did you?'

Just another life lesson son. Nothing in life is free.

'We can't afford to be middle class anymore.'

When they said more people were choosing to holiday at home I think they meant in the UK

"Only another thousand points up and I'm even, honey."

"C'mon sweetie—you're only as bankrupt as you feel."