Financially Flustered Pillows

Introducing the 1040 - F.I.* Form (*The tax return for the financially incompetent.)

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

Peter

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

Wanna talk about it?

"Pendleton will stay afloat no matter what!"

'No trouble at all giving you an overdraft Mr Simkins - have mine!'

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

"Your assets will be frozen? Oh, boy, is it going to snow?"

'I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you're going to get to relive the thrill of building your company up from nothing!'

"Even after all that's happened, I feel no less regal."

Easy Budget Terms Are Not That Easy.

'We may be bankrupt, but we're not broke.'

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

'I am a staving artist. I'm fat because all I can afford is junk food!'

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

Moving. Mortgage payments bankrupted them. I guess "housebroken" means something different in their case.

"I'm sorry, Ma, but we're forced to sell the art collection."

No Money

"Your money is no longer working for you. It got laid off."

"Unfortunately, my holding on to tech-stocks was faith-based."

Remember you predicted some 'difficulties' with my bank?

'Your 401 (K) went down the drain, but if it's any consolation, you can keep the commemorative cup.'

'Remember you asked me to turn around the business!'

'Read an investment book that changed my life...please help.'

"Remember, son, what doesn't kill you, makes you poorer."

''Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -- I took the one less traveled by'...which was a helluva dumb place for me to launch a burger franchise!'

'Hi Luv. . .I'm at the Grand national, you never really liked our house did you?'

"When we got married, you said we'd be in the lap of luxury...but here we are, in the butt of bankruptcy!"

When they said more people were choosing to holiday at home I think they meant in the UK

'I'm so bad with money, I never know how much I have in the bank unless I shake it and count what falls out.'

"C'mon sweetie—you're only as bankrupt as you feel."

Anger Management - Now Treating Fuel Price Rage.