Financially Challenged Comedy Lover Gifts

"Business is terrible. I've already had to refill with red ink two times this month."

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

Jumping Wall Street.

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

"Sure, it may be great for us, but it's hell on the markets."

Black hole-in-the-wall at Jodrell Bank

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

'You won't feel a thing. We make a small incision in your wallet and...'

"He was expecting a golden handshake."

'Darn, all these coupons are expired. We could have saved 50 cents on 9 cans of dog food.' 'We don't have a dog.'

"How can we cut costs on Mars vehicles?"

"Besides currently being underpaid, over-worked, and having a crazy boss, why else did you apply?"

Budget Opticians.

"I have complete confidence that the company will overcome its debt load."

'Oh he's my loans officer.'

"I'm the one who went to market."

'I had to co-pay for the bagel.'

80 Million Euros for a football player.

Man spilling coffee and papers, looking like an awkward dance

'Ask your doctor if investing in the market is right for you.'

'If you're bored do some writing.You could start by writing your will.'

'Our revised plan is to inject live stem cells into the economy to make it grow.'

'You mean there's no money back guaranteed if I'm not satisfied?'

'Every time I get paid my creditors form a flash mob.'

Bankruptcy court

'I'm afraid the Christmas party has been cancelled on cost grounds...but the good news is that the boss has said you can still come in and photocopy your bottoms!'

'My attorney will explain why calling it a 'bear market' makes me a victim of profiling.'

Dear Sir, You have been charged £35 for under-use of your bank account. . .

'Oh, Honey...I know you want a little addition to the family - But we just can't afford a 48 inch flat screen plasma.'