Financially Challenged Comedy Lover Gifts

"Business is terrible. I've already had to refill with red ink two times this month."

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

America's Funniest Interest Rate Hikes

Jumping Wall Street.

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

"Sure, it may be great for us, but it's hell on the markets."

Black hole-in-the-wall at Jodrell Bank

Good Morning Britain

'Right you've got 30 minutes...start squeezing.'

'You won't feel a thing. We make a small incision in your wallet and...'

"He was expecting a golden handshake."

'Darn, all these coupons are expired. We could have saved 50 cents on 9 cans of dog food.' 'We don't have a dog.'

IRS. That was a rough audit. They disallowed all of my deductions! You can't claim all these people as dependents ... The business expenses are not correct ... and the charitable contributions don't meet guidelines. You're shredding my return with that?! Wow! Ut was The Taxes Chainsaw Massacre!

"How can we cut costs on Mars vehicles?"

Budget Opticians.

White Collar Imposter

"Besides currently being underpaid, over-worked, and having a crazy boss, why else did you apply?"

"I have complete confidence that the company will overcome its debt load."

'Oh he's my loans officer.'

'Ask your doctor if investing in the market is right for you.'

80 Million Euros for a football player.

Man spilling coffee and papers, looking like an awkward dance

"I'm the one who went to market."

'I had to co-pay for the bagel.'

Wal-Mart Bank of Canada.

'If you're bored do some writing.You could start by writing your will.'

'Every time I get paid my creditors form a flash mob.'

'You mean there's no money back guaranteed if I'm not satisfied?'

'Our revised plan is to inject live stem cells into the economy to make it grow.'

Bankruptcy court

I need your help to hide a lot of money I just, um, came into. I'm sorry

'I'm afraid the Christmas party has been cancelled on cost grounds...but the good news is that the boss has said you can still come in and photocopy your bottoms!'

'My attorney will explain why calling it a 'bear market' makes me a victim of profiling.'

Dear Sir, You have been charged £35 for under-use of your bank account. . .

'Oh, Honey...I know you want a little addition to the family - But we just can't afford a 48 inch flat screen plasma.'