Financially Aware Patient Pillows

'I'm going to give you the good news in laymen's terms and the bad news in dollars and cents.'

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"Surgery up here is free!"

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'The surgery is expensive. We'll have to numb you from the wallet down.'

Hell, "I think there's been some sort of mistake, I still owe my soul to the mortgage company"

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

'It's not my childhood that traumatised me. It's the size of your bills.'

'I don't know what to do about my check - grief or anger counseling.'

"This is a third-year medical student. To cut costs, your insurance company dismissed the surgeon."

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

Sunshine Retirement Villa: Pool, Golf, Tennis and Financial Planner.

Sam's Nation Building

"I hate to ask for money, but I have a lot of student loans to pay off."

"You'll be out of here before you know it. Our auditor just went over your financial situation."

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

'This is going to hurt, I'm afraid. . .I can't afford to pay.'

"Harold, have you reaped huge gains that you have not told me about?"

"On earth that is all ya know and all ye need know- except at tax time."

"It's cut my heating bills right down."

"The Chancellor insists on people getting 'advice' on what to do with their pension ports if they cash them in."

"Wow, they want $10,000!"

"Don't complain to your dad about your student loans. He's still paying his off."

"I'm going to prescribe a generic placebo."

'The good news is that the person who stole your identity is spending a lot less money than you were.'

"Someone forgot to pay this bill so they're repossessing our furniture."

"It's elective surgery. Shouldn't I get a discount for the time you save not dealing with insurance forms?"

'Doc, before you jab it to me, what's the sticker price?'

"That's the parents' section."

Senior Brand Name Medicine Cabinet

'Dad, can I put my pocket money into a pension fund to protect me from the economic winter?'

'It says take all your medication,if you can afford it.'