Financial Thriller Pillows

'No, your stock didn't split. The fact it's worth half of what it was yesterday is just an amazing coincidence.'

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

'Risky, but I like it!'

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

'No trouble at all giving you an overdraft Mr Simkins - have mine!'

"I'm gonna ride it out!"

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

Greece - The Black Hole

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

"Stocks go up, stock go down. That's why I jump with a bungee cord."

"This is what we recommend for motion sickness, due to the stockmarket's rollercoaster ride."

'Climate change seems to be a real thing... in the past, our money was sufficient till the 25th of a month. Nowadays, it's melted away on the 15th.'

"Will the current economic trend end in a whimper or a bang? For answers, let's turn to tonight's guests!"

The Apprentice: Recession Special.

'I need you to reassure the investors. Can you keep a straight face?'

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

No future for the dollar.

'I'm trading futures in green sheets.'

Investment Firm's sign, 'No guts, no glory'.

Energy Bills

'Remember you asked me to turn around the business!'

'Make sure he doesn't turn his TV to any business news programs while he's here.'

"I don't know what we'll do when our adjustable-rate mortgage resets."

'Good news! Some guy stole my identity online. Now he's saddled with my bad credit rating.'

"I sleep poorly anyway, so you might as well put me in high-risk investments."

Invested pot of gold in the stock market.

'You never give up, do you?'

'It's money in the bank. . . so it's worrisome.'

A businessman balancing on a unicycle that has a coin as a wheel, on the line of a graph of falling financial performance.

Attack of the Investment Zombie