Financial Strategy Gifts

"You never said your 50,000 shares were penny ones!"

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

'I always fought for the little guy, then I had an epiphany that the big guys had all the money.'

"You look like the sort of guy who might like 'short selling' stocks."

"Sure, money may be imaginary - but at least it's got everybody imagining it."

"Of course, if you get your client off in the initial trial you're throwing away the appeal fee."

"A plan that'll get us more money in the long run as opposed to some in our hands right now? What did I tell you about coming in drunk Steve?"

"Heads we declare a dividend, tails we declare bankruptcy."

"This company wants to make money, NOT spend money. Turning on the lights would go against our goal."

'Dad, you sold me on some bum investments.'

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

The Danger of Gambling

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'The recession is over, again.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"Well, Comstock, still regret putting our profits back into research?"

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'Are we broke yet?'

"I just..."

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"It's going to require a great deal of money."

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

'The market shifted on me.'

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'