Financial Sleuths Gifts

"These financials look right. They smell right -- they're either right or very clever."

British savings accounts

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

"So much for password protected."

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

"Some guy by the name of Bernanke called in. He wants to try and make an emergency soft landing."

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

IRS Audit Section

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

The United States' economy deflating.

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

Help!!! I've been kidnapped - Your Money.

"And they say it's the safest 500-P/E stock out there."

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

Geezernomics - Crash of 1929.

'Today, the market did the 'Ol' Dipsy, but recovered in the 'Doodle'.'

'You realize, of course, that that's the fifth 25 stake we've now sold in our entertainment division.'

How should I know up or down? All I heard was the FT was 74.95.

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

'Find out if that was a computer glitch or a market glitch?'

'Today, emerging market funds rose on news the American dream is alive and well in Thailand, Singapore, China. . .'

'Oh my God! You look like you've see the FTSE.'

'I sure wish there was a formula for picking the right mutual fund!'