Financial Planning Consultation Gifts

'I know you're looking for a safe investment but have you ever heard of anyone getting wealthy investing in a bank account?'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

The day the stock market went UP.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Watering Money

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

E.U. Banking Union.

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

"Cash, Jordan. That's what separates man from the apes."

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

European currency on the edge.