Financial Literacy Buffs Pillows

"Honey, I ate part of your ice cream to teach you about taxes."

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

Tempest in a Teapot

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.