Financial Literacy Enthusiast Pillows

'My own debit card would really be a great way to teach me the value of a dollar.'

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

Money Plant.

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

'Does it bother you that we have all the money?'

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'