Financial Planning Aficionados Pillows

'If you want to learn more about our retirement plan, pick up some brochures at your local Social Security office.'

"Have you considered dying a bit earlier?"

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"Try not to think of them just as a 'customer' but rather as your only chance of paying your mortgage and putting food on your plate."

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

'This graph may need some explaining...'

Born to raise interest rates.

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

'Now that we've moved to Hawaii, I can start trading at 3:30 a.m.--Isn't that great?'

I've checked - it goes down to the basement.

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

'Our short-term solution is money. Our long-term solution is more money.'

'As you can clearly see in this Pie Chart...something is eating into our profit margins!'

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

Greenspanisms for sale (50c)

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

'Today, the market did the 'Ol' Dipsy, but recovered in the 'Doodle'.'

'What if we televise government budget hearings and make them pay-per-view?'

"Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it."

Lady in Card Shop sees Sympathy Cards section with 'Bear Market', 'Falling Dollar' and 'Inflation' categories.

First United Church of Outrageously Overlimited Credit Card Holders

Overdraft limit.

Businessman with two boxes: 'Nothing Ventured' and 'Nothing Gained'.

I am billing, therefore I am.

'The financial crisis is unlikely to worry me: I lay a new Golden Egg every day...'

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

'I consider myself to be a sophisticated investor. I would never invest in penny stocks. I lost all of my money investing with a brokerage specializing in nickel stocks.'

"To mom, apple pie, and foreign investors who keep our economy humming."