Financial Fussbudget Gifts

Roasting the Moneybox

'You earned this corner office by cutting corners...'

"Everything's gone up."

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

"What comes after zillion?"

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

'Carry on sailor, just keep swimming around the coast and stick your head up now and again.'

"So, the bills still aren't paid? You've never been good at money management."

White House Garage Sale.

It's 10 P.M. does anyone know what 'sequestration' means?

Where tax money goes...

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

'I need affordable daycare now!'

"The Treasury is fairly sure that the figures in the budget are correct, they might just not be in the right order!"

'We've gone over your budget very carefully, Mr Thorne. Unfortunately the network does not sell 7-second spots.'

'If the universe and everything in it is expanding, how come our budget gets shrunk all the time?'

'Sorry to trouble you , sir , but did you remember to sign my expenses ?'

What is possible and what is probable.

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't realize how much credit you had on your card."

Gentleman, things are worse than we thought.

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

Squeezing a tight budget...

Financial Execution

"With the rises in fuel, food and mortgage I'm going to have to put in some overtime."

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

The Department Chairs react to the budget cuts.

"He can afford a bigger cage. His old tax forms line the bottom."

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

'The hospital needs to cut its drug budget...Mrs Miggins will be seeing what she can do for the Oncology department with hot twigs and frogspawn...'

-"Why bother to budget?" -"So we can worry BEFORE we spend our money as well as AFTER we spend our money."

"We can probably just about afford to run the pilot-light."