Financial Formula Buff Pillows

". . . and this, my young friends, is the Basell II ratings-based formula to calculate capital levels for retail credit."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Mario Draghi

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

'I'm not too sure about that.'

'Don't bother cleaning out your desk. We'll be hiring you back as a consultant for half the salary and no benefits.'

"He'll do anything to say in power."

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

'The bad news is that we lost a lot of money last quarter... The good news is that it was a record.'

Dow Jones drop

"Comparing our salaries with the workers' salaries makes me cry...with laughter!"

Gold Medal for IOC boss Thomas Bach in the discipline of Brown-Nosing-Dictators-For-Money.

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

"I don't like the look of this."

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

Standard & Poor

'All those in favor of requesting a government bailout, say 'Karl Marx'.'

The symbol for the euro (?) depicted as the wheel of a wheelchair, symbolising the state of the currency

"We do have faith but I'm afraid our policy is still not to accept Bitcoin."

"Don't worry! He's totally changed..."

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

"I rob from the poor and give to the rich."

Spanish bank needs propping up.

There will be no economics report...our economics reporter got caught in the tech carnage...

A man is selling, 'Cameron voodoo dolls', outside of job centre.

"And this right here was our weekend in the Hamptons."