Financial Fixer-upper Gifts

"You're responding beautifully. Let's go ahead and see what happens if we increase your deductible."

'What do you have for an underperforming portfolio?'

'Somehow, I consolidated all my debts into a ten-year sentence!'

"Asking our relatives for rent money isn't the same as crowdfunding."

Falling Stock.

A Tax Auditor Prescribes Treatment For A Doctor's Condition

'I've checked out all your possible options, Mr. Fogarty, and it looks like your only way out is to get a job somewhere.'

123456, 'I've invented 'numbers' - now we can fix the economy!'

'I need 1000 bucks to tide me over until my ship comes in!'

'I've consolidated all our debts and put them on number 7 in this race!'

"You want to borrow 1.2 million dollars to meet your school district's budget?"

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

'Apart from his awful workmanship, my hubby's handy work is fine.'

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

"Thanks to our self-driving car, Fred channels all his road rage energy into doing chores around the house!"

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

DIY information - 'Here you are - look it up yourself.'

Darn you, you stupid hammer!

The Upholstery Consultant

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

'Not only did I fix the leak, but when you run the hot water it plays 'Harlem Nocturne'.'

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

DIY Store "I don't know why we come here..."

Well paid job