Financial Firefighter Gifts

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"No Frodo, we are still many leagues from Mordor. This is from a wildfire by I-5 west of Bakersfield."

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

Woman escapes with cats.

"Smokey The Tree"

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

'I said 'Shall I put the cat out?''

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"I came as soon as I got the message!"

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

The New Normal

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

"He excels at putting out fires."

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

Buddy hadn't learned from the time his tongue got stuck.

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"These are the environmentalists who set the Amazon forest on fire!"

"Wow, these e-readers take forever to burn..."

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

"Prices may keep going up, up, up, but my love for you will remain positively, and forever, as is."

"The third leading cause of forest fires."

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

Professor Algarth Zag, pioneer in fire research.

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water

'If I don't use the charcoal grill, I get a carbon offset and the fire department gets a day off.'

Fire door.

"First save Mister chomp-chomp!"

Burning love