Financial Felons Pillows

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"A wage increase to match inflation."

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

Student Debt

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

'Wait a minute....!

Kicking The Habit

Breaking Through

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

'Your indestructible portfolio will go kablooey just before your indestructible marriage goes kablooey.'

"We don't send statements - they cause too many heart attacks."

"Well, I think we've proved our point...you want to push it, or should I?"

'What do you buy the man who has lost everything?'

'Whadaya mean my fixed income is broken?'

"If we're the Serious Fraud Squad, how come we're looking for funny money?"

Financial Pirates

"With me it's even worse. I'm still paying off loans from nursery school."

'Good news. We just made $21,450 online trading. Now we're only behind $347,364.'

'Finally...some money for our 401K!'

'Didn't listen to my investor's advice.'

"It's a rags to riches story. He started with $80,000 in student loan debt, and now he has a job and moved out of his parent's basement."

"We can't afford to go on holiday, and we can't afford to stay at home either."

"You know how to whistle, don't you? Just pick up the phone and call the S.E.C."

Graduation Bill.

'Do you have poor credit? . . . Visit paydayloanshark.com for instant cash!'

"I learned a lot in this class. I learned how to day trade stocks to help pay off my student loans."

"Nothing in my hat. Nothing up my sleeve. And as of right now, ladies and gentlemen, nothing at all left in my goddamn portfolio."

Scariest Horror Film Ever: National Debt

Hooked on fried sardines, Irene's cat leads them on a life of crime.

'I sympathize, but you can't file for mortgage forclosure. It has to be bankruptcy.'

"There's money in there that could be used for other purposes."

'Since I lost my shirt on the stock market, I now only accept strong currency or gold bullion.'

". . . but, it will be great to see the old gang."