Financial Crime Buff Pillows

"My client would like to do his community service in the financial community."

'There is someone here to see you.'

'George, we could start an off shore bank with secret accounts. Surely, some tax dodger would find us then.'

"Making millions through insider trading wasn't a problem, hiding it from the I.R.S. was."

hard-boiled egg...

'You know too much,'

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

'Henderson makes money the old fashioned way - White collar crime.'

"I worked hard, I played hard and I embezzled hard."

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

"I told you we should have had separate trials."

"Looks like he's been salted, Sarge.2

"I found out the hard way what a short hop it is from 'Seize the Day' to 'Seize the Money!'"

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

The classic 'large scale corporate raider' eventually, they end up catching themselves!!

"Yes, we're a letterbox company. How can I help you?"

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

"Have you ever heard about deferred prosecution agreements, Mommie?"

A giant hand identifies giant legs in a police line-up.

'Ms. Andrews, have there been any important office memos, voice-mails, texts, tweets or IMs during my incarceration?'

Black market trade in foodstuffs is thriving.

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

"Damn it, Flopsy, you've cost me another bust."

"It's easier to make 'em talk when you just cement the feet."

'I don't care if they do help you remember which role you're supposed to be playing. Take them off!'

"I've given him your message. If you'll just take a seat, he'll be out in a moment with his hands up."

'No, you can't fake your own death and leave all your money to yourself.'

"I should have realised she'd poisoned my dinner. It tasted much nicer than usual."

Fraud Squad

Practicing for the lie detector test...'I have only $800 in the bank. I was never in Chicago. I know nothing about the dog food business.'

"If we're the Serious Fraud Squad, how come we're looking for funny money?"

"I'm getting old. . . I only got 17 hate comments!"

"All right, which one stole your identity?"