Financial Dramatist Pillows

I can read this audit, but HOW should I read it...What is my MOTIVATION, how do I bring these figures to life,make them sing!... Colin often wondered whether accountancy had been the right career choice for him

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

'Hard to follow...'

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

During his financial report to the board of directors, Ted hits the poignancy button by mistake.

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"Impartiality becomes you."

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

'You are in court today, so I've got to take you into make up.'

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

On the seventh day the ideation got a little heated.

'Don't panic, folks! It's red ink, not blood!

'Miss Roberts, turn off the video camera!'

'Never mind four out of five doctors.. what do four out of five LAWYERS recommend?'

'What's this? You're suing me because the prescribed medication made you 'irrationally exuberant' in a down market?'

"I know they say that laughter at work is healthy, but not when they're laughing at our profit forecasts!"

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

"We went dutch - he must have reached his two-hundred-dollar dating deductible."

Closing arguments.

The High School of Music and Art and Economics

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'Now, then -- would you prefer a speedy trial or an accurate trial.'

"NAY!!"

The Apprentice: Recession Special.

"Yes, Your Honor, I'm Mr. Brandon, Mr. Shindelbower's attorney, along with his agent and publicist."

What do overcrowded prisons say about defense lawyers?

"I would like to conduct my own defence, m'lud."

"And were you wearing that particular hat on the night of the murder?"

"It's a profit and loss statement. Read it with gusto!"

"You're an attorney. Don't stand so upright."

"Will the current economic trend end in a whimper or a bang? For answers, let's turn to tonight's guests!"

"Did someone just shout 'sinkhole!!!'?"

TELLER, 'Thirty-seven dollars? -- you call THAT overdrawn?'