Corporate Dramatists Pillows

'When I hired you, I needed someone to start at the bottom, and stay there.'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

'A computer is only as good as the people who are employed to replace the people who were made redundant by the computer.'

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

A man taking a bow

"You're good at asking all the right questions. Now let's hear some right answers."

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

Henrik Ibsen,

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

During his financial report to the board of directors, Ted hits the poignancy button by mistake.

"I absolutely guarantee your workloads will not increase."

'That concludes the annual report, I will now fend off questions from the stockholders.'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

"In preparation for his appearance before the foundation board, Rodney fine-tunes his song and dance."

"Didn't you get the memo? The boss said he was bringing in some experts to help with the company's rebranding."

"We're looking for someone who'll be available twenty four-seven."

Reception - I believe you wanted to see the man in charge.

'I want my ideas called 'concepts' not 'notions'.'

"Let's vote. All those in favour of flying to Switzerland, withdrawing our secret bank account and splitting?"

'Let's play business. I'll be the chairman of the board and you'll work for me and laugh whenever I tell a joke.'

"We could hire some sign-wavers to stand by the side of the road and advertise our product."

I can read this audit, but HOW should I read it...What is my MOTIVATION, how do I bring these figures to life,make them sing!... Colin often wondered whether accountancy had been the right career choice for him

Communicating with clients without using buzzwords posed a challenge for the consultants.

'The plan was idiot-proof. Unfortunately, someone came up with a superior idiot.'

"Intern? Oh, no. He wandered in from our day care center."

'Tell me more about the obscene bonus package.'

'Your request for a motorcycle as your company car was rejected. However, I'm not totally unreasonable. Enjoy!'

On the seventh day the ideation got a little heated.

'I preferred my old title of Executive Vice-President.'

"Your personality test shows you are selfish, mean, and lazy. We'd like to offer you a position in management."

'Miss Roberts, turn off the video camera!'

'He's really very busy but you can wait.'