Financial Comeback Kid Gifts

"Sure, you lost most of your money investing in this stock, but they did give you a participation trophy."

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"He's writing a novel for the first time in decades. It has less to do with the urge to create or say something new, and more to do with the fact that all his previous books are now out of print."

'That's my boy...'

"I don't have time for piggy banks. Can't I just buy an ATM?"

And so, Rudy unwittingly became an investor in The Infant Restaurant Critic. At first, he was furious having lost his weekly paycheck. But then it dawned on him: He was back in the dot-com game – for the first time in 20 years. He was practically a venture capitalist! I'm a social media investor. It's a multi-platform play with, obviously, huge mobile capability, global reach, soaring audience share. Revenue model? What? Huh? Beat it.

'He's precocious.'

"I've brought companies back from the brink of disaster before Phil, but to bring one back from the dead? I'm still patting myself on the back over that one!"

'I know about the birds and the bees. Can you tell me about making a bundle trading derivatives?'

How Gary got his groove back.

'I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you're going to get to relive the thrill of building your company up from nothing!'

'I hardly expected the federal tapering affect my allowance.'

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

"Hello, Sally? I've decided not to go to the concert. . . my father said I'd have to use my own money!"

'A 7 load? Do you think I was born yesterday? Oh, wait, I was.'

'Is my allowance an unfunded liability?'

The Fountain of Youth.

'An off-white entertainment giant that's been in and out of favour with the public - what better place for Jacko's comeback?'

"I think I've already had my fifteen minutes of fortune."

TV Zoo Trivia

"This accident will not affect my career as a football pro. Fortunately, I'm left-footed."

'It's hard to tell if that's part of the routine or just rheumatism.'

"How do you make any money?"

'After I get my MBA I'll live in New York and summer in Europe before moving back in with my parents.'

'... but you've gotta admire him for at least trying to come back after an injury of that magnitude.'

'Dad, I need to talk to you about my investment portfolio.'

"My school day was mixed. Big gains in history class, English was flat, math declined by a quarter-grade, and I took a pounding at recess."

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'I'm only seven years old -- I don't HAVE a credit rating yet!'

I know you are, but what am I? Huh? Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you. I'm ready for the return of school. My mom says you're just jealous.

Back on the mound after succesful Elton John surgery.

"He killed in rehab."