Finance Funsters Pillows

'Help! I ran my business like a government.'

'The increased child tax credit is supposed to stimulate the economy...so how about a raise in my allowance?'

People often have us confused with investment bankers. We loot and plunder, leaving a mess wherever we go, and when there are complaints we claim endangered species status.

'My bank has introduced a new 'SMS alert' service.'

'If you can't get by on your present salary, Slocum, I suggest your wife get a second job.'

'Dear shareholders, let me deliver a brief report on financial results...'

'Why don't we make it simple this year, and you just extend me a line of credit?'

'Oog decided to become a predatory LENDER.'

Cupid views his online credit rating.

'I'm back! Do you have any free samples today?'

"Woohoo! I can deduct the bribe for the tax inspector!"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

British savings accounts

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

What happens when the bears are running the market.

'In order to fund your deferred compensation, we won't be paying you any salary.'

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

'Oh, wait. There's a note. It says; Fill her up with euros.'

'I love it when you say - 'I'm going to print money'.'

'It takes great courage of conviction to know you're wrong, yet still proceed forward.'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

'Well, Eddy may look a bit rough, but he's good at heart - last week, he bought stocks from a company which produces cuddly puppy toys in pink ballet dresses!'

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

'Looks like your recovery has been slowed by a diet rich in Greece, followed by a bout of gas problems. Continue to take your QE and call me next quarter.'

10 Days Without an Interest Rate Change

"Let's vote. All those in favour of flying to Switzerland, withdrawing our secret bank account and splitting?"

'Stocks fell on the news that whatever can go wrong, usually does go wrong.'

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

"Goodbye cruel world."

Guess your net worth, only 25 cents.

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."