Finance Failure Pillows

Last investor in pyramid scheme

'Yo-you Ma will now raise our spirits and assuage our pain.'

'Our company has hit an iceberg and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

"Pendleton will stay afloat no matter what!"

Wanna talk about it?

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'Look at the bright side -- having a business fail when you're thirty is great preparation for your Midlife Crisis.'

'Our company has hit an icebery and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

'No trouble at all giving you an overdraft Mr Simkins - have mine!'

'Having the money tree has really helped out.'

'Wait a minute....!

'Giving you eternal life was a hard enough problem! Don't expect me to know how to save enough for it, too!'

Kicking The Habit

"Your assets will be frozen? Oh, boy, is it going to snow?"

'I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you're going to get to relive the thrill of building your company up from nothing!'

'Your indestructible portfolio will go kablooey just before your indestructible marriage goes kablooey.'

"Even after all that's happened, I feel no less regal."

Easy Budget Terms Are Not That Easy.

"How's that pub landlord thing working out?"

Sign on door of company cafeteria of financial services company says: 'Do not feed the bears'.

'What do you buy the man who has lost everything?'

"Well, I think we've proved our point...you want to push it, or should I?"

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."

'Whadaya mean my fixed income is broken?'

'Remember you asked me to turn around the business!'

'Good news. We just made $21,450 online trading. Now we're only behind $347,364.'

Change of Management - Fortunes Told

"I'm sorry, Ma, but we're forced to sell the art collection."

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

"Unfortunately, my holding on to tech-stocks was faith-based."

'Didn't listen to my investor's advice.'

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

"C'mon sweetie—you're only as bankrupt as you feel."