
'I'm the laughing stock of congress. I was caught spending my own money.'
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'I'm the laughing stock of congress. I was caught spending my own money.'
'Now that I have your attention...'
Loan Alley
'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'
Jumping Wall Street.
'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'
'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'
"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."
'No trouble at all giving you an overdraft Mr Simkins - have mine!'
"Sure, it may be great for us, but it's hell on the markets."
'Money, that's what seperates us from the apes.'
"We must do something about the bloated, fat cat image bankers have a acquired...I think I'll settle for a bigger chair!"
"Any questions?" (Company's down the toilet.)
Black hole-in-the-wall at Jodrell Bank
The classic 'large scale corporate raider' eventually, they end up catching themselves!!
Bank Cuts Jobs. . . Employees in Need!
News and Magazines. Record Debt. Dollar Down. How can the dollar be weak when we've been giving it such a good workout?
'You won't feel a thing. We make a small incision in your wallet and...'
Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'
'It's 10pm, does anyone know how much the U.S. dollar is worth?'
'The difference between Micro and Macro economics is this: Macro is what you owe, and Micro is what you're paid.'
Credit card campaign ad
'Can I help? You bet your bottom dollar I can.'
'Now that I think about it, you're right: Like bankers, we thrive on the misfortune of others...'
IRS. That was a rough audit. They disallowed all of my deductions! You can't claim all these people as dependents ... The business expenses are not correct ... and the charitable contributions don't meet guidelines. You're shredding my return with that?! Wow! Ut was The Taxes Chainsaw Massacre!
"We've made such good progress with your stress management levels, that I feel able to risk a small setback."
Ace Borrowing Company (formerly Ace Loan Company)
'There's been a big bank merger, sir, so you now have a joint checking account with a Mr. Slavomir Bezparyadok of Zagreb.'
'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'
'You thought I'd gone out of business? What gave you that idea?'
"Not to worry mum - I've spotted us a Banksy!"
'I'm going to refer you to a doctor. You seem to have developed immunity to winning stocks.'
"We will help you to evade taxes in dollars, Swiss Francs, Euros, Pounds....or even in dead mice and birds!"
Updated Fables. The Ant And The Grasshopper … And The Mosquito. IRS.
"The government wants us to wear these bonus hazard suits."
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