Film Critic Gifts

Goldilocks at Sundance.

"Is it any good?"

"I hear he's huge in Japan."

Tenafly International Film Festival

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

Giant Monsters At The Water Cooler

"Read the book!""See the movie!"

'I can't wait to see the reviews in the newspaper to find out whether I like the movie or not.'

Find the reviewer

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

"The trailer didn't live up to the teaser."

Welcome to Hollywood

Hollywood 1860 - "The Dickens screenplay's good but I'd like to bring in Thackery for a rewrite.."

Little Red Riding Carpet

'It stinks!'

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

'Modem Times,'

Angels watch hell on a flatscreen.

"It's not that I dislike being dead. It's just that death is for dead guys, you know..." Woody Allen dies, but his body keeps talking and talking and talking.

If only I had noticed the cow in the teleporter, I'd be accepting the Nobel prize now!

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

'Alfred Hitchhiking.'

Outskirts of town with sign: 'Entering Centerville - a town without a film festival.'

'Critics are calling it 'one of the films opening on Friday.''

"That was a good adaptation."

'The acting was awful and the plot was thin, but the mortgage rate looked interesting.'

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

"I think that scary music they play when we are the movie screen is hurting our image."

Rising Oil Prices.

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

"What's my motivation?"

"That script of yours - I've never read such a load of cliched second-rate crap...It'll make us rich..."

'The reviews are in. Math doesn't look any better in 3-D.'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Never ending story.