Film Criticism Gifts

"Is it any good?"

'It stinks!'

Film critic critics

"I wrote my essay specifically so that Hollywood could easily make a blockbuster out of it!"

"I would have made the gore sickening in a different way."

"The new movies are all romantic and funny."

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

Warning: This motion picture stinks. View in a well ventilated area.

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

'Nah, let's get 'Slasher III' - these old films tend to have a disgusting amount of smoking.'

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

The Fairhaven Treatment Center for movie critics who chronically refer to mean-spirited, foul-mouthed, stupid and degrading comedies as 'refreshing.'

The revolution that hit Hollywood hardest:The Thinking Pictures."

Why snakes make poor movie critics.

'Waste of twenty quid.'

"Ebert gives it a thumbs up."

"Well, I guess that was a family movie. If your family is a bunch of violent, psychotic sociopaths."

"What can I get you?" "An explanation for that dumb reason why Batman and Superman stopped fighting at the end of Batman v Superman." "Would you like that spoiler-filled or spoiler-free?" "Spoiler-filled would be lovely, please." "Ok. Batman did not stop fighting Superman just because both of their moms were named 'Martha.'" "'Martha' was not just a person. In Batman’s nightmares, 'Martha' had come to represent all that was good about him." "When Superman whispered 'Martha,' it did t

Hear the stunning reviews for Boneyard Death Killers. It's one of the greatest movies in a generation. That's according to movieblogreview.com. What's that place? Boneyard chills, thrills and packs an emotional wallop says flickreviewblogspot. It's Friday the 13th meets Caddyshack meets Streetcar Named Desire, according to joereviewsmovies.com. Awesome dlite gr8 dialog 2 says movietwittergal. I loved this film! Reports I-get-free-stuff-from-studios-reviewer.com.

The Last Jedi dvd is going to have fourteen deleted scenes! Horrible mistake. The confident creator releases his work to the world and says This is it. This is what I want to show you. He doesn't then show you all the stuff he might have put in the story. Did Prince release the deleted stanza from Little Red Corvette where he also compared her to a Ford Pinto? Wait ... Prince compared a sexy lady to a Ford Pinto? Who knows? That's my point. Aren't you glad you don't know what?

I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think. About what, little buddy? Star Trek. The latest movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus. Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives.

The new Avengers movie is going to be better than the new X-Men movie because it's not about saving the whole world. Yeah. People are tired of blockbusters where the fate of the whole world is at stake. That's why "The Martian" did so well. It was only about the fate of Matt Damon and his potato garden. I want to see a movie where aliens try to conquer Venus and nobody cares. We really should have our own movie review show.

I'm here with movie expert, Mister Flick, to discuss monsters who are actors. Let's start with Jekyll and Hyde. He does some good work and some bad work. Who picks scripts well? Dracula finds roles he can really sink his teeth into. Frankenstein, on the other hand, will take just about any part! What about King Kong's career? It was brief but he did climb to the top! And some critics think the Invisible Man is among the best. I agree with that ... but he only does low-budget indie films

"Batman v Superman" was just awful. Just AWFUL! Wait

Roger Ebert, RIP

"I wasn't in the mood for exquisite observing."

"Bond James, Bond."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Benedict Cumberbatch

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Herman Mankiewicz

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."