Film And Video Prints

'Honey! Grab your glasses, and come check out this great video I found online!'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Director/Action Man toy.

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Herman Mankiewicz

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

The star hunters

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

"Say hello to my little friend."

Candid Camera store.

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

'This will be great for chase scenes.'

Canadian film production

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

"I feel a great disturbance in The Force."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'Hey, Charlie, have we got good news for you!'