Film Analysis T-Shirts

"Now THAT'S what I call a surprise ending!!"

The cinema of the Absurd.

'Tonight's special presentation, 'The Myth of the Mafia,' was made possible by a grant from the Gambino family.'

100 best beheadings

"I told him. . . 'Norman, forget that woman! She's no good for you! I need you to run the Bates Motel! Norman! Are you listening to your mother?'"

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

'The only thing that made sense was the violence.'

You talking to me?

'Artistic it might have been, but those sort of films ought to be banned.'

"How come Dracula's hair looked so neat if he can't look in a mirror"

At the 'Feel Good' movie of the year.

"I never connect with universal themes."

"What do the know!"

"The new Matter-Eater Lad movie is going to be better than the new Avengers movie because it's not about saving the whole world." "Yeah. People are tired of blockbusters where the fate of the whole world is at stake. That's why 'The Martian' did so well." "It was only about the fate of Matt Damon and his potato garden." "I want to see a movie where aliens try to conquer Venus and nobody cares." "We really should have our own movie review show."

"They're looking for a new Bond Baddie."

Handy Pre-made Notes for Modern Life

"We're in the part of the movie that's usually a montage."

Death II

"I'm the bad guy..."

"It's boy meets girl, boy and girl do everything you've seen in every other movie."

Don Tudge's Positive Movie Reviews

"'City Slickers' was O.K., but, let's face it, it was no 'Claire's Knee.'"

"Bond James, Bond."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Benedict Cumberbatch

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Herman Mankiewicz

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'