Filing System Rebel Gifts

'No, you can't have my old file cabinet. I'm using it as a paper-weight for all the stuff I'm too lazy to file!'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

'Let's not go by the book.'

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

'So do you want me to minute that George is dying of boredom and Nigel will rip my head off if I don't stop boring him with my blather?'

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'It's only fair to warn you that if you get the job there would be a lot of filing involved.'

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

In - Out - Pending.

InIn by-products.

European Union: Entering a prohibitive tax zone.

Research and Development: Now, Never.

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

"Who's the idiot who filed Phil under F?"

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

'I hope you have planning permission for that?'

I've refiled all your letters under L.

Distractions: Work Disputes

'Instead of 'Sincerely Yours...' say 'This message was approved by Harlow Rains.''

Painter removes 'wet paint' sign from park bench and replaces it with a 'dry paint' sign.

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

In one ear/Out the other.

'The last Doctor to go into medical records has still not been found.'

'McWit, I'd like to talk to you about your blood classification system.'

'The government is keen not to interfere with private enterprise.'

'Item 56(B), we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have a meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings!'

"Before we test this, do you know how to fill out an accident report?"

Please be seated. A jack booted government thug will be with you shortly.

Dive in Archive.

How many workers does it take to put up a Christmas decoration?