File Cabinet Detective T-Shirts

Woman going through files being grabbed by weird creature in X Files.

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

In trays read: Bluff/Blink.

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

'The butler did it.'

'She files things on a biblical basis. Seek and ye shall find.'

"Find out who put a 100 dollar bill in the suggestion box. This person has potential!"

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

Doo inc..can and no can.

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

'Harlow, do you wnat to be part of the problem or part of the coverup?'

'I can't remember the title,but it was on a little white piece of paper.'

"Where would we BE without the right DOCUMENTATION...?"

"Is it my imagination, or does our use of correction fluid increase as people's teeth get whiter?"

'There's something wrong with the slow cooker. I check it every minute but nothing's cooking!'

"We need to talk about procrastination."

Files of Doom

'You can read, right? -- I want you to check this thing for loopholes.'

'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

"You forgot to read the small print Mr Burrows. My charges are ten pounds a letter and you have two hundred and thirty three on this page."

U. S. POST OFFICE, ''Fragile'? Yeah, yeah, pal -- they're all fragile.'

The Sleep of Reason Produces Bureaucracy

Invasive species reach Ken's sock drawer.

'Go ahead and dig, you said! what are the odds there's a pipe right there, you said!'

"I can't understand how it got lost - I haven't filed it yet"

"Don't let the organized desk fool you. I have no idea where my computer files are."

"Mr Yomp is in a big hurry, so give him 'speedy runaround number 39'..."

Bob landed in Hell. And to make matters worse, they lost his luggage.