Fight For Love Gifts

"It's probably nothing but I saw him with your girlfriend last night."

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

Still searching for my Prince Charming.

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

Mayo-A-Mayo

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

Biological Cuckoo clock

Same sex families - it's about love, not sex, after all...

"Ideally, I'm looking for a guy who can make me smile."

Financially Secure Romantic with sufficient fire in belly seeks damsel in distress...

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

Single men in Tahiti

"Every once in a while he gets nostalgic for Woodstock."

"You like taking long walks in the rain? My dogs will love you!"

'He has some unresolved issues.'

"It's alright for you, female worms are everywhere, but when was the last time you saw a Mummy-Long-Legs?"

"Will you stop comparing me to your mum!"

"He may be Sven the Slayer to you, but to me he's still Mr Cuddly Bun!"

"Being a refrigerator magnet is fine, but I wish, for just one day, I could be a chick magnet."

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

"Sure, I can help you improve your mating call: that's my specialty..."

"...Also, true love is eventually tax deductible."

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

Sue believed that one day she would find her soul mate - and her missing sock.

'Always the usher, never the bride.'

'Okay, this time we'll try for someone with a really good sense of humour.'

ACME COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'She should be attractive, intelligenty, charming, and funny, or best offer.

'This sounds good. Sensitive, professional male, 30-35, enjoys long slithers along the beach...'

"You're looking for love in all the wrong places, Harold."

"My mating dances were unsuccessful, so I tried reciting poetry: didn't work either..."

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."