Fictional Characters Gifts

'...so you need us to slow time, break the law and perform three miracles...by next Tuesday. You need to dial extension 101 and ask for the Wizard of Oz!'

I think I'm losing this case because, while I'm trying to channel the spirit of Perry Mason, the district attorney is not trying to channel the spirit of Hamilton Burger. ! !

'Why don't you have a nifty gimmick like that?'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Tarzan

Tarzan got an office job...

'He's been insufferable since he started using Vine for pictures.'

Love at First Sight

Victor Hugo

"Do me next."

Honoré de Balzac

J. R. R. Tolkien

Silence of the Chickens...

Tarzan of the damn dirty apes.

',,,And we'd really like a heart for the Tin Man,,,'

'I told you we should have done the balloon toss.'

Jorge Luis Borges

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

"I'm in children's books, myself."

Zora Neale Hurston

Every class has one. . .

Christopher Isherwood

"Tom's writing has been going really well! He's written over 200,000 words. Now he just needs to work out what order to put them in!"

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

Samuel Beckett

J. D. Salinger

Stephen King

"He'd make a wonderful main character for a short story, but I wouldn't put up with him for an entire novel."

Edgar Allan Poe

Honore de Balzac

"Oh, my, I can tell—everybody in there has read Barbara Tuchman."

"Is this Haiku poopery?"

"Someone to collect your works, dear."

(No caption. Two primary school girls are wearing shirts with one being Hello Kitty and the other Hello Puppy. The girl wearing the Hello Puppy shirt wears torn clothes.)

D. H. Lawrence

Bertolt Brecht