Fetish Fun Pillows

'How did you know I have a foot fetish?'

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

"Cat park"

"So you dreamed you were an adult?"

'It's called playing. Provides one with a sense of accomplishment - without actually accomplishing anything.'

When dogs dream...

Sticking out tongue

'Bad dog- I said WALKIES!'

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

Three Little Pigs in a Cyclone

Beach Attraction

"Yeah, but before he snapped he wasn't having any fun at all."

"Let's just take the Kosciuszko."

Devil cello

Dentures and foot kissing

"...good night lube, good night lair, good night noises everywhere."

The ascent was long, hard and full of privation and Bob almost made it to the top of the mountain...

"It gets to the point where fans don't respond the way they used to. You need an edge, something more..." Cougar Charlie goes public about his long-standing battle with drugs.

'How many times do I have to tell you kids? When you've finished playing with your grandad tidy him away!'

"Maybe we'd be more fun if we were loaded."

Sadojazzachists

Counting a convoy of sheep .

"I've forgotten my safe word."

"Tie me up, then cut your toenails where I can hear you."

"Will he know what this is in reference to?"

Monster Food Fight.

"Hell, I'm from the dating agency. Can I move in with you."