Fetes T-Shirts

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Garden produce show.

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Prize vegetables.

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"He's taken buzzed to a whole new level."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

Elfie Stick

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"I am so attracted to you right now."

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

Green Balloon

Dancing in pyjamas

'Awesome mummy costume!' 'I'm a pirate! Some kids just TPed me...'

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

All dressed up and no place to go

Santa does a keg stand.

'We haven't had a family get-together like this since we were kids - Hey! Where are mum and dad?'

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

'In hindsight, we should have spent more on marketing than entertainment.'

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

Christmas Presents.

Determined not to make a fool of himself Mitch keeps practicing every dance move for the Annual Office Christmas Party!

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'