Festive Season Embracer Gifts

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

Happy Easter

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

Glyndebourne

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

Old Joe the gardener was begining to regret the fact he'd bought last year's pumpkin seeds on Halloween!

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

'Gee, where are all the crowds this year?'

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

"Will she know what this is in reference to?"

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

"Spring is definitely here! Which means yard work is not far behind...."

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

To the office...happy Easter, from Sid.

Happy New Ear!

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'

Papa, how come Rudolph has a red nose? Because he's a drunk, son. Plain and simple.

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

Great Moment in North Pole History

Santa Elevator

"And if you don't know what to say, just say, 'Ho, ho, ho!''