Festive Ringtone Fanatic Gifts

"You'll never believe this! Chelsea Trubshaw has only downloaded her xmas ring-tones already!"

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Yo ho ho!

"Hmm. The lights are on, but nobody's home..."

"If I survive this holiday, I'm moving to a pond."

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

Christmas sweater alternatives

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

'And that,and that,and that...'

Merry Kissmas

The other days of the year...

Street Carolers

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

A Christmas tree self portrait

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

There's no place like Ho-Ho-Home

Back to the Holidays

"Normally after 365 years we'd be looking at a better figure, but not when you've only worked one day a year!"

Are we human or are we Dancer, Prancer, Comet and Vixen

Great Moment in North Pole History

Elf of the Month

'First she called my mother, and then she called Santa.'

"And you can REALLY make 345,000 deliveries in ONE day!"

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"

"I think it was one Christmas TV advert too many."

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."