Festive Matchmaker Gifts

'A little bit naughty is ok.'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

'Santa is the delivery man, I'm the CEO. Do you know what a CEO is, Lisa?'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

"Sponsoring Christmas this year was an act of sheer marketing genius."

'Then it's approved. We move from the North Pole at once due to melting of the polar ice caps.'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

Acme Dating Service

'This one writes some fine lyrics, and the other one has composed some beautiful music, but they just done't seem to hit it off as collaborators.'

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

Santa using the stock exchange to keep track of stocks and bonds being good or bad as well as going up or down

Match maker

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

Pucker up!

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

Sidekick speed matching service.

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

"The big challenge now is to get them to mate in captivity."

"I think Santa has taken us offthe naughty list this year."

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"For Christmas, Santa is bringing sales in at plan."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."