Festive Matchmaker Gifts

'A little bit naughty is ok.'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'Santa is the delivery man, I'm the CEO. Do you know what a CEO is, Lisa?'

"It must have been fate that brought us together."

"Sponsoring Christmas this year was an act of sheer marketing genius."

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'Then it's approved. We move from the North Pole at once due to melting of the polar ice caps.'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Acme Dating Service

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

Thanksgiving Feast. Get lots of turkey, but not too much of you'll have to take a pause at the nap box. I'm skipping the cranberries and going for the green beans and the potatoes. I'm at the stuffing now and getting bonus points for extra gravy! Hey! There's a shortcut through the corn, straight to the pumpkin pie! I win! Not so fast. You missed the most important spot where you give thanks for your family and friends. Oh, you're right. It's okay that I didn't win. I'll get you tomor

'This one writes some fine lyrics, and the other one has composed some beautiful music, but they just done't seem to hit it off as collaborators.'

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

Santa using the stock exchange to keep track of stocks and bonds being good or bad as well as going up or down

Match maker

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Sidekick speed matching service.

"The big challenge now is to get them to mate in captivity."

"I think Santa has taken us offthe naughty list this year."

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

Pucker up!

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"For Christmas, Santa is bringing sales in at plan."