Festive Logician Gifts

'What's all this 'naughty or nice' jazz? ? Haven't you ever heard of situational ethics?'

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"I don't believe in you!"

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

Bad gifts

'No, dear. I don't think the star on the Christmas tree will implode, and suck our living room into a black hole.'

"Just as I feared. Tariffs."

Dollar Sign Christmas Tree.

'Twenty percent bluechips, ten percent small-caps, five percent currency hedges and the remainder in cash. Get that list to Santa right away.'

'Santa is the delivery man, I'm the CEO. Do you know what a CEO is, Lisa?'

"Sponsoring Christmas this year was an act of sheer marketing genius."

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

"Who cares what little kids think? What's important is that you believe in yourself."

'I don't believe in myself any more.'

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

'After talking to him. it's clear our only hope for a bonus this year is Santa Claus.'

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

Thanksgiving Feast. Get lots of turkey, but not too much of you'll have to take a pause at the nap box. I'm skipping the cranberries and going for the green beans and the potatoes. I'm at the stuffing now and getting bonus points for extra gravy! Hey! There's a shortcut through the corn, straight to the pumpkin pie! I win! Not so fast. You missed the most important spot where you give thanks for your family and friends. Oh, you're right. It's okay that I didn't win. I'll get you tomor

"Santa, snow is falling." "Sell snow!"

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

There IS a Santa Claus.

Santa using the stock exchange to keep track of stocks and bonds being good or bad as well as going up or down

It was brighter than most, and Biggins allowed himself a quiet smile as he contemplated the immense speeds involved as it burned itself up in the atmosphere...

'We had a white Christmas but we'll be in the red until April.'

The composer of the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' song.

"I never expected to collide into you!"

"Smile if you're guilty!"

'So, there really is a Higgs Boson?'

"Santa's trying to corner the futures market for coal in anticipation of his visit to Washington."

"I like the Easter Bunny - I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus."

" ... And the kids only like me for my presents."

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

"Repent, lest the axe of judgement fall upon thee."