Festive Legal Connoisseur Gifts

'Evidence will clearly show that Grandma was run over by a reindeer coming home from the plaintiff's home on Christmas Eve.'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

They Are Not Going to Take Me

"He may be only a junior partner, but remember - his mother destroyed half of Tokyo."

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

There's no such thing as "The Fruit Basket Defense." By any chance, are you referring to "The Fruit of the Poisonous Tree"? That's evidence that was obtained by an illegal action and must be considered inadmissible. Yeah! What you said!!!

US Gun Control Debates.

CW 'Text' Yomp Sidekicks: Attorneys-at-law,

Judge

Frank abuses the Power of Attorney.

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

'Your Honor, we find the defendant rich, famous and not guilty.'

"I'm enjoying law school but I don't want to be known as the attorney from hell."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg