Festive Funny Finder Gifts

The Many Happy Returns Department

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"Donner and Blitzen are just our stage names."

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

'I get that reaction a lot.'

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

'You know when kids are good or bad? Are you with NSA?'

"Sorry I'm late. We were delayed when Rudolph caught a drone in his antlers."

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

"You've got a fairy light at the back."

Santa incorporates therapy into his repertoire.

Have A Whale Of A Christmas

Vaccine Reindeer

"I'm confused. We were trained to do our business outside, but then they bring in a tree that glows."

"Thank you and feel free to download the appropriate holiday greeting from my website."

'The sun'll be up soon. Can I go downstairs now?'

"We love Santa, but Santa didn't know as much about investing as he thought he did."

One of Santa's elves is crushed to death by a present in the workshop, ruining the 364 days of 'Elf and Safety'.

"You think your job is hard? I have to remember which date Easter falls on each year."

"OMG! They're eating noses!"

"You know I hate you, right?"

"For dessert I'll have milk and cookies."

'I see management bonuses remain unaffected again this year.'

'Happy Xmas!'

SEE SANTA, ''Happy Holidays'? -- Don't tell me YOU'RE getting politically correct, now?'

"No, that's not mine. Do you have one with a big red nose?"

"It doesn't feel like Christmas. So, I'm drinking until it does."