Festive Funmaker Gifts

Naughty, Nice, Pending Appeal

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

"Merry Christmas"

Snowman

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

"Perhaps it wasn't so wise to bring Frosty along!"

A Creature WAS Stirring

A centipede's Christmas stockings

'There really IS a Santa!' Santa busts pets eating his milk and cookies

"A raise? You want me to give you a raise? Do I look like f*ckin' Santa Claus?"

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

Santa uses his interviewing skills on his second job, too.

'HO,HO,HO,WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF SANTA CLAUS??!!'

'I hate it when he's in one of his silly festive moods.'

"Sharp shooter, huh? Well, I was attacked by an ax murderer!"

'You know when kids are good or bad? Are you with NSA?'

"I'm more concerned about the two bowlfuls of jelly you apparently sit on the rest of the year."

Santa Randy was fired and Santa Claus got the job.

'Christmas dinner's almost ready dear.'

'Am I on your good Facebook friend list, or on your bad Facebook friend list?'

Christmas Dwarves

After they became friends, Rudolph found out just what reindeer games the reindeer played.

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

"You believed you were above everyone else, and deserved to look down on others. This is a clear case of shelf-elf-filling prophecy."

'That's about as Christmasy as we can get it.'

Balloon ski lift

"Just put one foot directly in front of the other, sir, and walk in as straight a line as possible."

"I'm a little angel when I'm asleep. Does that count?"

"Christmas parties aren't nearly as much fun since we started teleworking. . ."

Santa reads book: The Joy of Sacks.

"Don't you love the smell of burning leather boots this time of year?"