Festive Foody Gifts

'Go to the butcher and have him send the large goose which has enough cholesterol to do them all in,to the Cratchits.'

Night of the Latkes

Halloween may be a little different this year.

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

Panettone

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

Turkey Autopsy

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

Christmas Drinks 'n' Nibbles System

Twas the week before Christmas and all thru the house

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

'I am the ghost of Christmas future...with fries!'

With all that Christmas baking left, that's a bad thing...(egg prices soar).

"The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!"

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"

Happy St Pancakes Day

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

'That'll be all the mince pies and sherry!'

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

"The holiday roast has yams, petters, carrots, pumpkin, parsnips, and tomato. What shall we call it?"

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

Santa's doner kebab - Santa, one of the reindeer has gone missing.

Turkey Autopsy

Hot Chestnuts