Festive Foody Mugs

'Go to the butcher and have him send the large goose which has enough cholesterol to do them all in,to the Cratchits.'

Night of the Latkes

Halloween may be a little different this year.

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

Turkey Autopsy

Panettone

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

Christmas Drinks 'n' Nibbles System

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

'That'll be all the mince pies and sherry!'

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

'I am the ghost of Christmas future...with fries!'

"The holiday roast has yams, petters, carrots, pumpkin, parsnips, and tomato. What shall we call it?"

Happy St Pancakes Day

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"

"The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!"

Hot Chestnuts

Turkey Autopsy

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

Santa's doner kebab - Santa, one of the reindeer has gone missing.

'Don't fill up on milk and cookies.'