Festive Fitness Fans Gifts

A slim Santa emerges from slimming club.

In the Guru District

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'My feet are killing me.'

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"Portrait of a Lady"

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

'Well, well, well...'

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

Turn, turn and turn.

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

Muscles

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Yearbook

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

Man at computer at sports company wears sweat band on head.

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

Monica Seles

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

Exercise Class

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"