Festive Fitness Fans Gifts

A slim Santa emerges from slimming club.

In the Guru District

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My feet are killing me.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"Portrait of a Lady"

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

'Well, well, well...'

Muscles

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

Turn, turn and turn.

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Yearbook

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

Man at computer at sports company wears sweat band on head.

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

City Marathon.

Exercise Class

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

Bench Press Accident