Festive Finders Mugs

"Sure, I can change a twenty. Do you want candy canes or peppermint swirls?"

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

Yo ho ho!

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

A Creature WAS Stirring

Violin family at Christmas

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

Merry Kissmas

"A raise? You want me to give you a raise? Do I look like f*ckin' Santa Claus?"

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

'HO,HO,HO,WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF SANTA CLAUS??!!'

Elf of the Month

"I'm more concerned about the two bowlfuls of jelly you apparently sit on the rest of the year."

'Christmas dinner's almost ready dear.'

Santa Randy was fired and Santa Claus got the job.

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

"I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

Santa and reindeer in line with shadows

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

Poinsettia

'This would be perfect for Charlene to give her husband...'

Santa reads book: The Joy of Sacks.

December Fest

"The garbage cans were hung by the chimney with care..."

Cow asks the horse for the carrot.

Festivus poles