Festive Finders Gifts

"Sure, I can change a twenty. Do you want candy canes or peppermint swirls?"

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

Yo ho ho!

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

Violin family at Christmas

A Creature WAS Stirring

Hunter in stand in a Christmas tree tied to a car.

'You still owe me the pony from last year!'

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

Merry Kissmas

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

"A raise? You want me to give you a raise? Do I look like f*ckin' Santa Claus?"

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

'HO,HO,HO,WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF SANTA CLAUS??!!'

"I'm more concerned about the two bowlfuls of jelly you apparently sit on the rest of the year."

"I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

'Christmas dinner's almost ready dear.'

Santa Randy was fired and Santa Claus got the job.

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

Elf of the Month

Santa and reindeer in line with shadows

"That's right, Robert. Santa sends us a copy of his naughty and nice list, and we send him our students' grades."

"You believed you were above everyone else, and deserved to look down on others. This is a clear case of shelf-elf-filling prophecy."

Poinsettia

'That's about as Christmasy as we can get it.'

Geographical Society Christmas Dinner.

"Christmas parties aren't nearly as much fun since we started teleworking. . ."

December Fest

"The garbage cans were hung by the chimney with care..."