Festive Eater Gifts

'It must of crept on over christmas...'

Night of the Latkes

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

'All those vegetables Mom's been feeding me finally paid off. I'm a squash.'

Panettone

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

Turkey Autopsy

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

It's beginning to smell a lot like Christmas

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

"Call me selfish if you want, but I have no issue with spoiling the farmer's Christmas lunch: I'm out of here..."

Twas the week before Christmas and all thru the house

Christmas Drinks 'n' Nibbles System

Stuffing the turkey.

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

Happy St Pancakes Day

"The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!"

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

With all that Christmas baking left, that's a bad thing...(egg prices soar).

"The holiday roast has yams, petters, carrots, pumpkin, parsnips, and tomato. What shall we call it?"

'After a Gadzillon glasses of milk and cookies who wouldn't have an upset stomach?'

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"

'I am the ghost of Christmas future...with fries!'

'That'll be all the mince pies and sherry!'

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

Santa's doner kebab - Santa, one of the reindeer has gone missing.

Turkey Autopsy