Festivals Gifts

"The Kitmans in 12-B. Tell them Elijah is here for the Seder."

"10th Anniversary Woodstock Reunion'

"I'm thinking of doing Pamplona this year."

Dec. 26

"Between the hat, the sunglasses and the mask, I think we're good."

'My secret? Stay away from Halloween candy.'

"Well, it's time to head off for the holidays."

"Ah! It's that time of year again!"

'I don't know why Doc, but I always feel anxious around thanksgiving!'

Early versions of the new year's eve ball drop proved less popular among revelers,

'This is our leftovers from Christmas.'

Guess your weight, height, date of birth, e-mail address, and social security number.

Slight dilemma in tasting the cheese.

Labor Day Monday

Happy Fourth of July!

'Take a piece of candy and a tax form. The treat is a gratuity and therefore reportable income.'

'Okay, son, when I yell 'Now!' light the fuse and we'll watch this baby blast off!'

Pete Townshend Vineyards

Carp Festival.

How the Easter Bunny Spends Halloween.

"Hava Nagila" go-round.

'But enough of our golden oldies! Here's a new one we just wrote called 'Middled-Aged Hearing Loss!''

Glastonbury: 'Paul McCartney's attracted some older visitors this year.'

"You've got to be kidding me! The one night of the year when I need them to be at the top of their game....and I get a flat!"

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

The Annual Chanukah Dilemma

The End is Near.

'I love it when it's sunny at festivals. It makes the mud so much warmer.'

"Oh, what can it be?...what can it be?.."

"Do you think there's ANY possibility that the 76 pints of lager,13 bottles of wine and 12 kilos of chocolate you've had MAY have contributed to you feeling 'a bit under the weather'?"

Mother says to son on Bonfire Night: 'Of course, we won't actually be burning the Guy because of the carbon emissions.'

"To meditate on the mysteries of nature. Why do you come?"

'So if neither of us exists, then technically, this never happened.'

"Just as I feared. Tariffs."

"May we borrow your hat for the harvest festival?"