Fencing Fan Pillows

"My first impression is that the victim was probably a lousy referee."

"En garde!"

The winners podium at a fencing competition.

En-guard dog.

En garde!

Acupuncture.

Porcupines fencing with quills.

"Next time, I get to choose the weapon first."

"If you could just get rid of the split ends, that will be fine."

Raptures

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

Stationers' sign leaking ink onto a passer-by.

'No, you can't play Space Invaders in it.'

"I told you not to invite that guy!"

Apparently all our farts damage the ozone layer....

'You wanted to go on a romantic outing. You're on a romantic outing.'

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

Angler sees sign that says 'Good Spot'. He says, 'This looks like a good spot.'

'I hope this is catch and release!'

"It's a scientific breakthrough! This seed will produce less corn...thus driving up the price!"

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

'There you go again...constantly snagging!'

"Now, now, relax. All you're gonna feel is a quick jab."

Ok, now you're not swiping at salmon. Now you're just splashing me.

EU

Hammer Thrower - "Let go of it!"

"What kind of aggressive therapy?"

'Our Anesthesiologist resigned recently.'

Running out of Gas.