Fence Conversation Fan Pillows

'Are you accusing my dog of identity theft?'

"Ironically, this is the living room."

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"Global warming is a great icebreaker."

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

En garde!

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

"What kind of tomorrow is it? — I don't know, when I wake up, it's already today."

'I have a master's in 17th century Dutch feminist poetry, but I've never really used it.'

"We're giving you our complete cooperation. There's no need to bark at us!"

'Hey Joe!...Me? Oh,nothing much,just out walking the fish.And you?...'

'But you distinctly said working breakfast.'

"I wish you'd stop obsessively checking your feed!"

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

"Okay, now this time just start chasing the squirrel instead of asking it to dance."

"You know that tune you sang yesterday morning? It was stuck in my head the whole day long..."

Parrot annoying dog.

En-guard dog.

"When life gives me lemons, I know twenty-six ways to kill a man with a lemon."

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

Porcupines fencing with quills.

The Neighbours from Hell....

Acupuncture.

"Just a minute - I'm uploading."

Avoid Constant Borrowing

Vents, real and digital.

3...2...1...I'm Recording

'I've got to go - we're having the zebras for dinner.'

'They have great rapport.'

"Sure, we have problems, but at least we can talk about them."

Clubs are great for instant messaging!

"If I use twitter to communicate, does that make me a twit?"

"Next time, I get to choose the weapon first."

"Well, saying it over and over again doesn't make it true."